Too Old To Cut the Mustard
by Bill Carlisle
"There was a saying
up there in Kentucky where I was born that if you
couldn't do a job, you 'couldn't cut the mustard.' Well,
I used to do a comedy character on the radio in
Knoxville, Tennessee, called 'Hotshot Elmer,' and I
would tell the old story about the mule the old farmer
had who got too old to work. One night he was listening
to his master and his master's wife talking, and the
farmer said, 'We're just gonna have to send him to the
factory, because he's too old to work anymore,' and so
the mule ran off. He ran into an old ground hog laying
by the side of the road who was too old to hunt 'possum
and 'coon and several other old, useless animals, and
they all got together and made their own home in the
wilderness. Now that's an old story I got from a first
grade reader, and I named it. I tied it up with that old
saying and called it 'Too Old To Cut The Mustard.'
Finally, I wrote the song with that title."
— Bill Carlisle
Too Old To Cut The Mustard
When I was young I had lots of pep
I could get around, I didn't need no help
But since I'm old and a-gettin' gray
The people look at me and say:
Too old, too old
He's too old to cut the mustard anymore
He's a-gettin' too old, he's done got too old
He's too old to cut the mustard anymore.
I used to could jump just like a deer
But now I need a new landing gear
I used to could jump a picket fence
But now I'm lucky if I jump an inch.
When I was young I had an automobile
I'd scoot myself right under that wheel
I had to fight the gals off with a stick
But now they say, "Oh, he makes me sick."